Alas, a blog: Child support and male entitlement

Child support and male entitlement

My Comments:

Warning: strong opinions ahead.

The artificial womb concept is ridiculous and insulting. A woman provides more to a fetus than a place to gestate. There is psychic/psychological connection that affects the child’s emotional well-being, and even the movement of her body provides for the child’s neurological development. There will never be a surrogate equal to a mother.

First, do establish your legal rights immediately. Judges are very unsympathetic if a problem arises and you haven’t made the effort to see that the child is properly supported, or terminated the father’s rights. Don’t worry about taking his money. You told him you wanted a baby, he had sex with you, he took the risk. It doesn’t matter if he used a condom or not - he knew your intent was to be a mother. I’m also put off by the idea of someone who isn’t trying to reproduce having unprotected sex. There’s a plague on the planet, ya know. I hope the baby is smarter than he is.

I’m sick to wretched death of men who think they can get away with impregnating women and then whine about child support. He risks a few dollars- she risks her life and most times the complete care of the child is going to fall on her even if they stay together. She gets the blame for getting pregnant. She risks death or severe injury in giving birth. She gets to raise them if he splits. She’ll change the diapers, give up her career or have her career limited, and more likely than not, she’ll live in poverty if she raises the child alone. His life will only change if he wants it to.

Even if a woman has an abortion, her body may be permanently changed by the pregnancy, and she may never recover from the emotional scars. If she gives a child up for adoption, she may never get over the guilt. There is no such thing as an easy way out of an unwanted pregnancy for a woman. It is a life-changing event no matter what the final outcome. Men rarely even bear the burden they should feel at having abandoned a child, and are generally unchanged emotionally and physically. There’s nothing even approaching equality in the situation, so forget all the arguments about fairness.

A man will often lie to obtain sex and it isn’t unusual for a man to impregnate multiple partners, each of whom believes herself to be in a monogamous relationship. Men face absolutley no burden for lying, infidelity, even murder if they have unprotected sex when they know they have HIV. Consider child support a BARGAIN to what I’d make men responsible for if I made the laws.

I start from the assumption that people are going to have sex. It’s natural, it’s healthy and it doesn’t have to have procreative intent or a blessing from state or church to be a positive activity. People do have a responsibilty to prevent the spread of disease, though, and to make a good faith effort not to create children they don’t want. Accidents happen, though, as do rape, coercion and abuse, so I believe abortion should be not just legal, but free so that poor women have fair access to it.

In the specific case we’re talking about, Dude made his decision, so he lives with the consequences. You want the baby, which is awesome, and I hope you’re both very healthy and happy. He pays, or he gives up parental rights. When given that choice, you may be surprised how quickly he finds the cash he should be providing. You make the decisions that are best for you, because your well-being will have a direct effect on the well-being of your child. Your family will almost certainly be more supportive when they see the baby.

Women have been raising children alone since the beginning of time. The first couple wasn’t an “Adam and Eve” it was a Madonna and Child. You can do it. If he chooses to stay away, it is truly his loss. He’ll regret it when he’s older.