ABC's Ironic Little Christmas...

My favorite thing to do is watch a movie I love with people I love. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen often, so I take what I can get. Christmas night, I settled in with the family to watch The Sound of Music. As they slept in their chairs and I lamented the faded quality of the film it was recorded on, I found myself in the grips of the suffocating irony of Disney's presentation. I'm not a Disney fan to begin with, but they've gone from the common offense of misogyny to a stunning level of outright hypocrisy.

For those of you who don't remember the plot, it's the true story of an Austrian family, the father a widowed naval captain, who is turned on its ear by the arrival of a young novice sent from the local abbey to care for the seven siblings. Despite their best efforts, the young lady and the Captain fall in love, are married, and have to escape from Austria after the "Anschluss" -- the Nazi invasion. The themes of freedom, standing up for what you believe and the mistake of "just trying to get along" in the face of oppression run throughout.

First, the film was introduced by Michael Eisner. You might remember his part in trying to prevent the distribution of Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 a while back, for fear of reprisals in the form of tax increases (or was it loss of tax breaks) for Disney World, which is located in Florida, a state governed by Jeb Bush. Jeb is the brother of President Bush, who is soundly criticized in the film. Eisner's subsequent canceling of a lucrative contract with Miramax, in retaliation for Miramax film studio founders Harvey and Bob Weinstein personally buying rights to the picture and finding alternate distribution under a different corporate identity. (Eisner's exit from Disney in '06 can't some soon enough to suit me.)

Irony number 1: A man who was trying to suppress free speech to gain/retain political favors from a ruling party is introducing a movie about trying to escape such a ruling party-- the Nazi party-- which was also not too keen on free speech.

Irony number 2: The Bush family is fueled by their grandfather's fortune, which was made from doing business with... the Nazi party.

Irony number 3: Eisner's cowardice may be rewarded by inspiring another Michael Moore film about ... Eisner!

Next, we have the advertising chosen for this wholesome, family entertainment. As we watch this classic true love story that really did have a happy ending -- Maria and Capt. Von Trapp's descendants still run a ski lodge in the U.S. according to the Food Network- we are inundated with ads for two of ABC's hottest shows: The Bachelorette, and Desperate Housewives. Arguably two of the most cynical shows ever aired on Network TV.

Irony number 4: As Maria struggles to choose between her love for "God' and her new affections for the dashing Capt., we are repeatedly assailed with the struggles of Jenn, the new Bachelorette, a woman so venal she is willing to pick from a field of 20 equally venal men and declare one of them "the man she's meant to spend the rest of her life with" for the mere promise of a sizable check and good ratings. True love just ain't what it used to be.

Irony number 5: As Maria settles in gracefully as the mother of seven delighted children, we see one of a set of dueling divorcee's set the other's house on fire; a Stepford wannabe joke about trying to kill her husband; and an ex-model try to hide the hot young gardener she's cultivating while her husband is at work.

Irony number 6: Julie Andrews won an Oscar; Desperate Housewives, a drama, has been nominated for Best Comedy for dialog like: "She had met the enemy and she was a slut!" and my personal favorite 'OW! Ease up, you little vampire!" - shrieked by mom Lynnette to her nursing baby.

Irony number 7: The Final Irony - every woman in The Sound of Music, which was nominated for 10 academy awards and won 5, would be considered too heavy to get a job in Hollywood right now. The Housewives and the aforementioned Bachelorette, in contrast, have the figures of concentration camp victims, nearly weighing less than the Oscars they'll never win.

The saddest part of all of this is that this brand of cynicism has permeated our culture to the point that there will never be another Sound of Music, but we may very well see -- or be seeing now-- the rise of fascism in America. Where's Capt. von Trapp when we need him?

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross -- Sinclair Lewis